Posts Tagged 'Quirky'

WoD – The Pope, Twitter, and Purgatory

Hi all.  Yeah, it has been a while, I know.  (It’s not for lack of ideas, just time to type ’em up.)

Anyway, what better way to dive back in than something that involves the Pope, Twitter, and Purgatory.  You just can’t make this stuff up…

There are so many things I could comment on here.  So so many.  But this just struck me — is Purgatory a strictly Catholic or Christian notion?  I can’t actually even say ‘notion,’ since in the faith it is a real thing and place.  So if a place, do Catholics believe that non-Catholics go there, too?  I genuinely don’t know the answer to this.

So what I am then wondering is, what if I follow the Pope on Twitter.  If I am not going to Purgatory because I am not Catholic, then I don’t have to follow the Pope.  But if I do get included in Purgatory, then as a non-Catholic do I still qualify for “indulgences,” or are these reserved for purgatory-bound Catholics only?  Is being bound for Purgatory even a good thing?  It is a hot, nasty place ruled by a three-headed man with a very hot multi-pronged poker, who eats people.  See here.

 Purgatory

But I think the path to heaven is through Purgatory?  Or something like this.  Anyway, I just want to know if I need to follow the Pope on Twitter so that I don’t have to get sodomized by Satan for thousands of years.  Because that seems like a fair trade.

Thursday:

SHUND  (SHOOND)

Literary trash

Before you go thinking the headline below is shund, read on.  It’s legit!

http://mobile.theverge.com/2013/7/17/4531048/follow-pope-twitter-indulgence-purgatory

Follow the Pope on Twitter and spend less time in Purgatory, says Vatican

The Vatican has taken another step in its efforts to embrace social media by offering “indulgences” to followers of Pope Francis’ (@Pontifex) Twitter account. Italian newspaper Corriere della Sera reports that the church will reduce the time Catholics have to spend in purgatory if they follow official Vatican events on TV, radio, and through social media.

One such event is the Catholic World Youth Day, commencing in Rio de Janeiro on July 22nd. The Apostolic Penitentiary, a Vatican tribunal responsible for issues relating to the forgiveness of sins, will award the privilege to the faithful that follow the event using different forms of media. Pope Francis’ followers are not immediately granted an indulgence for tracking the event, with the penitentiary noting that it would hinge on the user having previously confessed and being “truly penitent and contrite.” Indulgences are given out when a Catholic performs an action recommended by the church. They’re meant to encourage Catholics to lead a pious life, devoting themselves to charity and generally treating others with a Christian spirit.

“”Producing authentic spiritual fruit in the hearts of everyone.””

“What really counts is that the tweets the Pope sends from Brazil or the photos of the Catholic World Youth Day that go up on Pinterest produce authentic spiritual fruit in the hearts of everyone,” said Archbishop Claudio Maria Celli, head of the pontifical council for social communication. Alongside its papal Twitter account, the Vatican offers an online news website (and app), a Facebook page, and is currently planning to engage with users on Pinterest.

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WoD – Red Berries

I had a bowl of cereal the other day.  It was Special K with Red Berries.  Hmm, I thought.  Curious name for a cereal, isn’t it?  I mean, why not just use the word “straw”berry?  Or even “rasp” berry?  Why just “red” berries?  

I know!  Let’s play find the strawberry!  Here is a picture of the ingredients of the cereal.  Umm, wait a sec.  Not here.  

Perhaps even more intriguing – what’s with elderberries?  Why do they keep popping up on strawberry-like things?  Why don’t we just call the cereal “Special K with Elderberries”?  

In fact, now that I think of it, if Kellogg’s was a smart marketing company, they’d make all kinds of crap up about the good properties of elderberries.  How they absorb free radicals and are an anti-oxident with newly discovered healthy properties (ooh! anti-aging.  yeah go with that one).  Kellogg’s would solve their red berry problem AND get us to love the idea of eating elderberries, all in one fell swoop!  Genius.  

OR, here’s another novel idea – they could actually just put strawberries in the strawberry cereal…

 

Monday:

PATSHKE (PAHTCHkeh)

To fuss with, to bother with

Kellogg’s can’t even patshke with their product enough to put in real fruit in the fruity cereal.  (Ok that’s not really a good sentence for the word, but you get the idea…)  

 Red Berries

WoD – Eyes in the Back of Our Heads

I want one.  An eye in the back of my head.  Why don’t we have one, really?  If we believe in evolution, wouldn’t it have been better to have an eye in the back of our head to protect from charging sabertooth tigers, flying frying pans hurled by Neanderthal wives, and bad guys looking to sneak attack from behind.

It would take a lot of memory and processing for our brains.  As it is now, our brain really just has to process, or compensate for, parallax.  A third eye in the back with a whole new set of images would be a lot to take in.  It’s a bit like the iPhone 5… you know at the bottom of iTunes how you only have a certain amount of memory and you can see what is taking up all the memory on the device, all nicely color-coded?  And sometimes you have to delete songs or photos just to fit something new on there?  Well, perhaps a third eye would have been kind like that.  But I’d certainly bump off of my brain memory some old Billy Joel lyrics and the phone numbers to all my friends in 5th grade if I could download a third eye in the back of my head App.

Evolution is totally great, right?  But if so, why did we not evolve to have a third eye in the back of our heads?

  

Thursday:

FRISH, GEZUNT, IN MESHUGE (frihsh gehZOONT oon muhSHOOgeh)

Fresh, healthy, and crazy

To do the risky things he does, you really have to be frish, gezunt, un meshuge.  

WoD – Readed

I read a sentence.  I then read it, again.  Because, the way I read it at first, was read wrong.  When we read something, we should be able to tell if someone means read or read.  I shouldn’t have to read something twice to know if someone means he read something, means to read something, or was telling me to read it.  You may have to re-read that.  Even though you read that.

Read.  Read.  It is silly.  In fact, every small kid in America knows what it should be.  It should be readed.  This would make the English language much easier…  

 

Monday:

ZOL ZAYN SHAH (zohl zain SHAH)

Let there be quiet

“Zol zayn shah!” the Rabbi hollered as he entered the noisy classroom.

WoD – Positively Negative.

This is way cool!  And let me just say that if you don’t get it to work right, then you are impatient and can’t follow directions.  Re-do it just as it says, and it WILL work… 

 

“Look at the red nose of this model for 15 seconds without blinking.  

Then move your eyes to the white space to the right and blink profusely.”   

 

How can that be, right?!  You can see more very cool optical illusions here:  http://izismile.com/2011/11/11/mind_blowing_afterimages_optical_illusions_3_pics_11_gifs.html 

 

Wednesday:

SHMENDRIK (SHMEHNdrikh)

A pipsqueak.  “Wet behind the ears”

That shmendrik Jimmy got the new promotion?  But he just graduated last year!  Oy.  



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